From Bhutan, Scene Two

(Twelve months earlier. The day after WARREN’s birthday.

FRANCES, in her pajamas and robe, comes into the kitchen. WARREN is there, pouring himself a cup of coffee.)

FRANCES Look it’s the birthday boy . . . did you have a good time? WARREN I did. (a beat) Where’s Mary?

(WARREN pours her a cup of coffee, hands her a cup.)

WARREN Her car’s not in the driveway.

FRANCES She’s probably driving aunt home.

WARREN Aunt stayed here last night?

(FRANCES nods.)

WARREN They been down to the Molly?

(FRANCES doesn’t respond.)

WARREN What kind of shape were they in?

FRANCES What kind of shape do you think they were in?

WARREN Check the attitude, Lady.

(He pours himself more coffee then brings the pot over to his sister, topping off her cup.)

WARREN So aren’t you going to ask about my big day and night in the city?

FRANCES I already asked if you had a good time.

(He’s had enough and walks to the door to leave . . .)

FRANCES Warren . . .

FRANCES I’m sorry, I’m just really tired. Aunt kept kicking me all night. (a beat) I want to hear all about it . . . I do.

(He grins.)

WARREN Anna’s sister and brother in law, they’ve got a house, a whole goddamn house on Commonwealth, right next to the park. He’s an investment banker. And I thought, Jesus, this guy has to be some kind of poser. But he’s not, he’s wicked nice. He was giving me all kinds of advice about running a small business, how to turn it into a real money making operation.

WARREN (Cont’d) You are not going to believe what I did this morning.

FRANCES What?

WARREN I went to church.

FRANCES You did not.

WARREN Anna’s sister and brother in law always go. Anna wanted to go—and I didn’t want to seem like an asshole. And you know it wasn’t so bad. I barely heard what the sermon was. The guy was going on about some story in the Bible and how to apply it to your life. Whatever. But being there with Anna and her family, it was nice—it was—orderly.

(A beat. He drinks his coffee.)

WARREN (Cont’d) So what do you think, you think Anna would make a decent sister in law?

FRANCES Are you serious?

WARREN We talked about it last night.

FRANCES Doesn’t she want to go to college?

WARREN It’s not written in stone. Anna’s a pretty old fashioned girl. And I think it’s always bugged her that her Ma worked full time when she didn’t have to. Anna wants to be there for our kids.

FRANCES You’ve already talked about kids?

WARREN We talk about everything.

(FRANCES moves to the cupboard and takes our cereal.)

FRANCES You want some cereal?

WARREN No thanks.

(She pours cereal in a bowl, gets milk and so on. She sits at the table and starts to eat. )

WARREN Course Anna’s parents are going to go postal when they find out. Especially her Ma, always talking about Anna being a big time lawyer some day. But she doesn’t know Anna like I do.

(WARREN pours himself more coffee. He grabs a piece of paper and a pencil. He starts to make a list.)

WARREN I got a thousand things to do around here. That window in your room still broken?

FRANCES Yes. And the light in the bathroom is still making that popping sound.

WARREN Gotta start making calls about Mary’s roof.

FRANCES When are you going to tell her?

(He looks up from his list.)

FRANCES About you and Anna . . .

WARREN I’ll tell her.

FRANCES When?

WARREN (snaps) When I goddamn feel like it.

WARREN Come on, Lady, help me out here. I need your support. Tell me I have your support.

FRANCES I support you.

WARREN Now was that so hard?

(He looks at the list.)

WARREN Will you help me stack wood later. There’s over a cord to get through.

FRANCES Okay.

(He makes a note on his list.)

FRANCES What would you say if I wanted to go to college?

WARREN If that’s what you really want and you can find a way to pay—go for it.

FRANCES Mrs. Letemkin has been talking to me about Columbia in New York. That’s where she taught.

WARREN You’d want to live there?

FRANCES Sure.

WARREN That’s the last place I’d ever want to live.

(She takes her cereal bowl to the sink.)

WARREN You know, Lady, Anna wants to get to know you better. You should give her a call later. Ask her to meet you for coffee at the BIG SIP . . . she likes that place.

(She’s not sure what to say.)

WARREN (Cont’d) It would mean a lot to me.

FRANCES Okay.

WARREN Do you still want me to build you that book shelf?

FRANCES If you have the time.

WARREN I’ll find it.

(He adds it to the list.)

FRANCES Warren, remember that country I was telling you about . . . the one Mrs. Letemkin visited before she moved here . . . Bhutan?

WARREN Uh huh . . .

FRANCES Don’t you think it’s weird that we didn’t know anything about it?

(He looks up from the list.)

FRANCES About the country . . . about Bhutan. That we’d never heard about it before. A whole country and we didn’t know it was there. What if there are some people who are meant to go to college and places like Bhutan and then there are other people . . . no matter how much they want to do those things . . . it just won’t happen.

WARREN Jesus Christ, Lady, do you actually sit around all day worrying about this crap?

(He pulls his sister to him, trying to push her out of her mood.)

WARREN (Cont’d) You need to make a plan, Lady. Make a plan and stick to it.

FRANCES I don’t think it’s that easy.

WARREN Course it is. Anna and I are getting married as soon as we graduate. Then I’m going to open my own plumbing business. Start a whole goddamn chain. And kids . . . we’ll have at least four. There I said it. It’s done. Nothing could be easier. So what do you think?

FRANCES What . . .

WARREN Of my plan?

FRANCES It’s fine . . .

(He starts to tickle her.)

WARREN Not good enough . . .

(She’s laughing.)

FRANCES I like it . . .

WARREN Still not . . .

FRANCES Great . . . (screaming) it’s great . . .

(He keeps tickling her. She keeps screaming.

MARY enters the room carrying a bag of groceries and a cake box.

FRANCES jumps off WARREN’s lap.)

MARY Happy birthday—Did you have a good time?

WARREN I did.

(MARY takes the cake out of the box. She shows it to WARREN.)

WARREN Carrot cake?

MARY Of course. Can we count on you for dinner?

WARREN Told you I’d be here, Mary.

(FRANCES takes her empty cereal bowl and puts it in the sink.

The phone rings. MARY answers it.)

MARY Hello . . . yes . . .

(She hands the phone to FRANCES:)

FRANCES Hello . . . sure . . . what . . . really . . . no I didn’t see that.

(FRANCES goes to the window and looks out.)

FRANCES Sure . . . sure . . . I’ll come right over.

(She hangs up.)

FRANCES Mrs. Letemkin’s signs were stolen last night.

(WARREN goes to the window and looks out. FRANCES stares at her mother.)

FRANCES I gotta help her plant bulbs.

(As FRANCES leaves . . .)

MARY (calling after her) That woman takes advantage of you.

(MARY goes to the window.)

MARY Seven hundred and fifty thousand she paid for that farm, plus the new kitchen and extending the porch. She has well over a million in that house, but she hires Frances to work in her garden.

(WARREN joins her at the window.)

WARREN You know anything about those signs, Mary?

MARY No.

(MARY walks away from the window.)

MARY What do you think she and Frances talk about?

WARREN I don’t know. Books, all the traveling she’s done.

MARY I bet they talk about me . . . I bet Frances tells her what a bad mother I am.

(He walks over to MARY.)

WARREN What about some breakfast?

(She moves to the refrigerator.)

MARY Bacon and eggs . . .

WARREN No. Pancakes.

MARY All right. (searching the refrigerator) See if I have any sausage to go with it.

WARREN If not . . . bacon will do . . .

(She takes out the ingredients, starts to put together the breakfast.

WARREN pours her a cup of coffee and hands it to her and then tops off his.)

WARREN I’m putting together my list. Anything you can think of?

MARY That water heater . . . is that on your list . . . it’s leaking.

WARREN It is now . . .

(He writes down her request.)

WARREN So how was your night?

MARY Made dinner here, had a few drinks at the Molly with Aunt.

WARREN A few?

MARY You’ve been talking to Frances.

WARREN Stumbling into the house shit faced is no way to earn your daughter’s respect.

MARY Earn her respect? Why would I have to do that? I’m her mother.

WARREN Mary . . .

MARY She owes me her respect.

WARREN The two of you . . . Jesus . . .

MARY What?

WARREN I just get so tired of it . . . always going at each other. When did that start? I can’t remember . . .

MARY Your sister’s never been easy . . .

WARREN And you are?

(MARY lightly and playfully slaps his face. He throws an arm around her.)

WARREN You know I’m proud of you, you do know that? Your new job . . . how hard you work . . .

MARY Tell me all about Boston . . . did you have a good time? Were they nice to you . . . where did you have dinner?

WARREN They were wicked nice, and dinner was in this amazing Italian place in the North End. Three courses with wine. Anna’s brother in law paid for the whole thing. And it turns out he knows a lot about small business. He’s an investment banker and it’s his area of expertise. He ended up giving me all this advice. Told me I should call him when I get started . . .

(She suddenly places a hand on his cheek.)

MARY It was really hard not having you here yesterday.

WARREN I know, Mary. But you survived. And I did I had a wicked good time.

(He’s grinning. She can’t stay mad at him.)

MARY What about a cake . . . did they buy you a cake?

(Lights come down.)