Exit Interview

Exit Interview

BRANDON: Clever. Wants to be the nice guy. Terrified of the idea that people might not like him. Hardworking. Would give you the shirt off his back.

(At rise, NICOLE, business attire, sits at a conference room table, binder and pen in hand. She reads over her documents, glancing up at the door and the clock every now and then. BRANDON enters, wearing a suit and carrying a box of desk contents. He sets it down on a chair and reaches to shake NICOLE’s hand.)

NICOLE (shaking his hand) Thank you for coming in today, Brandon. I know you are busy.

BRANDON It’s no trouble at all.

NICOLE I wanted to ask you a few questions today about your decision. I thought it was important that we take some time, learn the reasons for your departure. We are disappointed to be losing you.

BRANDON Yes, it wasn’t an easy decision. But I think it’s time I move on.

NICOLE Sure. I hope you will be open and honest in this time, that you feel you can give complete answers.

BRANDON Of course.

NICOLE We’re really looking to use the criticism and feedback here to drive some organizational improvements. Make some changes for the future. This process could be a learning experience for both of us, don’t you think?

BRANDON Agreed.

NICOLE Well . . . let’s dive right into it. So you’ve been here, what, nine months?

BRANDON Almost ten.

NICOLE Ah. I suppose that depends on when you start counting from.

BRANDON Sure.

NICOLE (taking notes) So. What caused you to start looking for something new at this time?

BRANDON Like I said, I think I knew it was time to move on.

NICOLE Of course . . . do you care to expand on that?

BRANDON Well, I think I looked at my life and my goals and I really asked myself where I wanted to be in five years, what kind of future I wanted, and it wasn’t . . . here, y’know? I valued this position, and I feel I learned a lot. I will always look fondly on my time here. It’s time for, like you said, something new.

NICOLE You want something different.

BRANDON Exactly.

(NICOLE begins to write something down.)

No, wait, no that’s not it. This, um, this isn’t a good fit anymore, y’know?

NICOLE I see.

BRANDON I don’t know if I’m saying the right thing.

NICOLE All you have to do is be honest. That’s all.

BRANDON Yes, of course.

NICOLE That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.

BRANDON I know that.

NICOLE (the facade cracking) Don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear. You can’t be the nice guy all the time. You aren’t the hero.

BRANDON I wasn’t . . . yeah, sure. Okay.

NICOLE (recovering cheerfully) So. What did you dislike about the company?

BRANDON So, suddenly, I don’t like where this is going.

NICOLE Honesty is important so we can improve our performance.

BRANDON This doesn’t sound like honesty, this sounds like masochism.

NICOLE (almost laughing) Will you answer the question?

BRANDON Mostly, it was great.

NICOLE Yes. You mentioned that. Right now I’m trying to mine a little deeper, find out where we could have done better by you. Maybe get a sense of what you want, what you are looking for.

BRANDON Well . . . there were times I didn’t feel valued. Sometimes. I felt taken for granted.

NICOLE (this is a surprise) Taken for granted?

BRANDON You know, I felt like I sometimes wasn’t part of major decisions. And there were times when I felt . . . like, stupid.

NICOLE Like when?

BRANDON When I would get things wrong or disagree with you or try to make choices or jokes or even when I would try new things, shake things up a bit, y’know? Or sometimes—

NICOLE That sounds like you felt stupid a lot.

BRANDON Well.

NICOLE Well, no one can make you feel stupid.

BRANDON See, right there. It was stuff like that. When the responsibility for my problems was solely on me. If I was the one having the problem, then I was being overly sensitive or not taking initiative and it was never anyone else’s fault. It made me feel . . . It was like my feelings and thoughts didn’t matter to you.

NICOLE Wow.

BRANDON You asked me to be honest.

NICOLE Did you share your concerns with anyone prior to deciding to leave?

(Pause.)

BRANDON No, I didn’t talk to you, but—

NICOLE (calm yet sarcastic) Oh, interesting. I was about to say I don’t remember hearing about this before. But, now , you want to talk?

BRANDON I always wanted to talk, that wasn’t—

NICOLE If you didn’t bring these problems to our attention, how could you have expected us to fix them?

BRANDON That’s what I’m saying. If I had talked to you about them, you wouldn’t have really acknowledged them. It would have ended up being my fault.

NICOLE How do you know that for sure?

BRANDON I guess I don’t.

NICOLE And without being aware of it—

BRANDON Look, I’m not saying I did the right thing by not talking to you about it. I’m saying that there was a reason and a logic to it at the time and when the reason no longer outweighed the problem, then I knew it was time to move on.

NICOLE Did you share your concerns with anyone outside the company prior to deciding to leave?

BRANDON I don’t want to answer that.

NICOLE So you did.

BRANDON I really don’t—

NICOLE Did you talk to Stacy?

BRANDON I was looking for advice!

NICOLE Who else? Charlie? Michael? Winston Churchill? Who knows all of this?

BRANDON I didn’t—

NICOLE How many people did you talk to about this without talking to me?

BRANDON A few, okay, but it’s not the way you’re making it out.

NICOLE And probably your mother, right?

BRANDON Well . . .

NICOLE (laughing sardonically) Of course.

BRANDON What does that mean?

NICOLE You know what it means.

BRANDON Look, it wasn’t like I went around sharing private details about my time here. I wasn’t telling secrets. I needed . . . I was looking for help.

NICOLE No, you were looking for confirmation that you were right. You were looking for people to be on your side.

BRANDON Doesn’t everyone?

NICOLE How could I have been on your side if you didn’t talk to me?

(Pause.)

BRANDON I don’t know.

(Pause.)

NICOLE I think we have gotten slightly off track.

BRANDON I agree.

NICOLE What does your new company offer that encouraged you to leave this position?

BRANDON New company?

NICOLE I assume you already have a new position. How long have you known you were moving on? And what is the name of your new company?

BRANDON There’s no new company.

NICOLE Have you worked with them before? Am I familiar with them? And are they prettier than me?

BRANDON There isn’t anyone else.

NICOLE I have trouble believing that.

BRANDON It’s not like that.

NICOLE Then what is it like?

BRANDON Nicole, I don’t know what this is helping.

NICOLE Was there a single event responsible for your decision to leave?

BRANDON I don’t think that’s relevant.

NICOLE Based on that response, I think it might be.

BRANDON No, it wasn’t one thing.

NICOLE Are you sure?

BRANDON Why would I lie about this?

NICOLE There wasn’t one conflict? Or one task? One request that might have pushed you over the line? What happened? What went wrong? Is there a way to fix it?

BRANDON This whole line of questioning is meaningless.

NICOLE Why have you decided to leave the company?

BRANDON I already answered this.

NICOLE Why have you decided to leave?

BRANDON I told you!

NICOLE I don’t like that answer, try again.

BRANDON Nicole, stop it.

NICOLE Tell me why , Brandon.

BRANDON I can’t.

NICOLE Yes. It’s easy. Think words. Open mouth. Say them.

BRANDON No . . . Not, “I can’t tell you.” I . . . I can’t anymore, okay?

(Pause.)

NICOLE I have a few more questions.

BRANDON So do I.

NICOLE That’s not how this works.

BRANDON Oh really? I think it’s my turn to ask the questions.

(BRANDON grabs the binder from NICOLE and starts reading the questions aloud.)

BRANDON “Number 16: Do you feel you had the resources and support necessary to be successful? If not, what was missing?”

NICOLE (reaching for the binder) Brandon, give it back.

BRANDON (plowing through) “Number 17: Did you have clear goals and know what was expected of you in your position?”

NICOLE (still fighting) Knock it off. This isn’t how this goes.

BRANDON (speaking over her) “Number 22: What are the key qualities and skills we should seek in your replacement?!” Are you kidding me?!

NICOLE I am the one asking the questions!

BRANDON No, right now, it would appear I am the one asking the questions.

NICOLE That’s not fair.

BRANDON Why?

NICOLE: Because I’m not the one who wants to leave!

(Silence. BRANDON hands the binder back to her and sits again.)

NICOLE If there had been opportunity for promotion or advancement, would you have stayed?

BRANDON Nicole . . .

NICOLE Answer the question.

BRANDON That wasn’t how this was going to work. You never . . . it was clear from the beginning that I wasn’t going to move up here. It took me a while to see that and to accept it, and once I did I knew that it was time to move on.

NICOLE So for nine months . . .

BRANDON Ten. Ten months. Depending on where you start counting. And no. Of course not. Not the whole time.

NICOLE So what you are saying is that if I . . . if we had changed our minds . . .

BRANDON If, if, if. Who knows?

NICOLE Right.

BRANDON But you didn’t want that anyway.

NICOLE You’re probably right.

(So much is unsaid in the silence that follows.)

NICOLE What did you value about your time here?

BRANDON Lots of things.

NICOLE Be specific.

BRANDON Um, I always felt like I was cared for.

NICOLE I thought you felt stupid.

BRANDON I did. Sometimes. But it wasn’t like it happened on purpose. And I still knew that you . . . I always liked when you would smile at me without saying anything and how you laughed at all my jokes, especially when they were stupid.

NICOLE Hm.

BRANDON I liked going on adventures. And learning new things. And being challenged. You were always challenging and exciting.

NICOLE Yeah.

BRANDON I valued your insight. Your passion. You were clever, charming. You stuck by your convictions.

NICOLE A lot of past tense in that sentence.

BRANDON You still are. And I still like it. I need to put it in past tense.

NICOLE Yeah.

BRANDON What did you value?

NICOLE No.

BRANDON Nicole . . . come on.

NICOLE You . . . made me feel safe. And wanted. And smart. Not smarter than you or anything. I felt listened to. I liked that you listened to me.

BRANDON: Me too.

NICOLE: What would make you consider working for us again in the future?

(Silence.)

NICOLE You know what, forget I asked.

BRANDON Yeah.

NICOLE Would you . . . recommend this to another person?

BRANDON In a heartbeat.

NICOLE Alright. I think that’s all my questions.

BRANDON No, it’s not.

(Silence.)

BRANDON I saw the list, Nicole. Go ahead. Ask.

NICOLE I’m afraid of the answer.

BRANDON I know.

NICOLE If you already know, can’t you tell me?

BRANDON I think the answer might be less important than the question.

NICOLE I haven’t gotten any real answers this whole time.

BRANDON Because you haven’t been asking what you want to know. I can only answer what you ask me.

(Pause.)

BRANDON Please ask.

NICOLE Was it ever real?

BRANDON Try again.

NICOLE (summoning strength) Did you ever really love me?

BRANDON Of course I did. Do. That’s not what this is about.

NICOLE How is it not about that?

BRANDON Because I’m not the hero, Nicole. I can’t just be the nice guy.

NICOLE Right. Sure.

BRANDON So. It’s over.

NICOLE (a moment of pure desperation) Help me understand why.

BRANDON It’s what needs to happen.

NICOLE I don’t get it.

BRANDON Me neither. But these questions aren’t going to make it any less hard.

NICOLE I know.

BRANDON You will be fine without me.

NICOLE That is one hundred percent not the point.

BRANDON Yeah.

(BRANDON stands to leave, sliding the box towards NICOLE.)

BRANDON I think it’s all in there.

NICOLE Thanks.

(BRANDON looks at NICOLE intensely for one moment. She doesn’t look at him. He leans over to kiss her on the forehead and she pulls away. BRANDON retreats and exits. NICOLE sits, ruined but determined.)

END SCENE