Lost Boy

who says we aren’t primarily animals for instance

you recognize at once the smell of doom and keep away unless

you’re drawn by pheromones like a soldier ant or for once you worry

about your soul he reeked of doom despised by those he loved one parent

missing one parent Pentacostal disgusted by the queer parts of him

he was himself disgusted self-despising snarling sick

unto death the chronic contagious sickness of our times

a righteous judgment was what he called it the rash

erupted over and over no meds no money no readiness

for help if there’d been help no self-defense unless you count

self-sabotage the wounds were old and ugly he kept them fresh he was quick

to take offense except from me and for what for merely a kindness

that brought me letters photos poems seeds saved from his yard roses

profuse on the cards for Mother’s Day on valentines because I was a surrogate

it cost me nothing until he chose oblivion the news was no surprise his gift

was always making something out of nothing